My husband has rules. I'm not allowed to ask him what he did today. Not allowed to ask him what he did for lunch today. not allowed to ask how the search is going.
Consequently, we have nothing to talk about. Oh, he asks me where I'm going when I get up from the couch. When I get up to pee in the night. when I go to the kitchen, etc.
But, I can't ask him what he did today. I think it's guilt. He's sitting behind his computer for 8, or more, hours a day "following up on leads". Nothing, though. No prospects.
If I can't have open dialogue with my husband, really talk, then what's the point.
I'm sad and very lonely. It's awfully quiet in our house
Friday, October 2, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
more supportive
I know I should be more supportive. In fact, I should just plain be supportive. I am struggling mightily with being a wife of a laid off husband. He's been laid off since Oct. '08. No prospects.
This is not our first rodeo; we've muddled through this before. The first time was 5 years ago. After 10 years with a co., his position was eliminated when the co. restructered. That unemployed period lasted 2 years. 2 long years. He finally gained employment with another co.; but, as often happens being the new man he was let go, amidst a little chaos. A few months later he was again employed but it always felt tentative. Sure enough, he was laid off last Oct.
I am really mad. I am really angry. I am really depressed. And then to top it off I feel terrible about feeling terrible. This sucks.
Shouldn't I be comforting? Telling him he's wonderful, smart, talented? I'm not. I want him to look non stop for employment. Non stop, I tell you. 24/7. He doesn't. Oh, he searches the internet, paid 600.00 to have his resume professionally written, submitted to a number of companies. He's tried to follow up, scavenging until he uncovers the "go to" person or decision maker. Sometimes they're impressed with his chutzpa and sometimes annoyed.
Then there's no real effort. He could work any where. I'm sad. I've got to get a grip. I just don't know how long I can hold on
This is not our first rodeo; we've muddled through this before. The first time was 5 years ago. After 10 years with a co., his position was eliminated when the co. restructered. That unemployed period lasted 2 years. 2 long years. He finally gained employment with another co.; but, as often happens being the new man he was let go, amidst a little chaos. A few months later he was again employed but it always felt tentative. Sure enough, he was laid off last Oct.
I am really mad. I am really angry. I am really depressed. And then to top it off I feel terrible about feeling terrible. This sucks.
Shouldn't I be comforting? Telling him he's wonderful, smart, talented? I'm not. I want him to look non stop for employment. Non stop, I tell you. 24/7. He doesn't. Oh, he searches the internet, paid 600.00 to have his resume professionally written, submitted to a number of companies. He's tried to follow up, scavenging until he uncovers the "go to" person or decision maker. Sometimes they're impressed with his chutzpa and sometimes annoyed.
Then there's no real effort. He could work any where. I'm sad. I've got to get a grip. I just don't know how long I can hold on
my first time....be gentle!
Well, I thought I'd try blogging.
Life. It's hard, isn't it. I just didn't think I would still feel overwhelmed at this point in my life. I suspect there are people worldwide feeling worn out, defeated and just plain tired.
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